15 ways to make our jobs better.

1. Remember: we are letting you pay us for a service we provide. That makes you our client.
2. Stop controlling your employees' lives. You are not our masters and we are not slaves.
3. Have more flexible hours. This 8 to 5 crap is so arbitrary, so artificial, so.. unnatural. Take advantage of the fact that different people have different awake/asleep patterns.
4. Stop watching the pennies (as in the minutes).
5. Set clear examples of what is allowed and what is not. If you get to do it, then your employee gets to do it.
6. Don't treat the employee as a thief first, and a human second.
7. Hire some old people! (Some of the wisest people I know..)
8. Hire some disabled people! (Some of the sweetest people I know..)
9. Provide spacious parking for your employees and customers. Stop cramming as many 'spaces' into as little space as possible. Quality not quantity.
10. Discuss everyone's salaries with everyone. People should get paid for what they actually do, not what their position/title says.
11. Don't fire people for passive mistakes. If the employee doesn't perform well, then lower their level of responsibility (reassign them).
12. Reward good (actual) work. Not what the braggart claims to have done.
13. Pay each person in cash weekly.
14. Don't mess around with contracts, 401K, insurance, and other crap like them.
15. Be nice. Don't just act nice. BE nice.

Three useless things.

Here are three known useless things in this world:

1. Nuns' nipples.
2. Bishops' balls.
3. An employer's praise without a raise.

10 Really Odd Jobs

Heh. 10 really odd jobs.

Bed Warmer - No, not your pet or your husband. There is actually a hotel chain that offers to have a staffer roll around in your bed and warm up the sheets! *!shudder!*

Dog Breath Sniffer – I'd rather be the head quack. Tests how a dog's diet affects it's breath.

Gum Buster – Scrapes gum from underneath tables, counters, seats, and sidewalks. Who you gonna call?!

Knife Thrower's Assistant – Smile while a seemingly sane person throws around knives.

Breath Odor Evaluator - Oi. Does this one even need a description? I hope the ratio of working breath 'cleaners' is more than the non working ones..

Pollen Collector - An odd, but honorable job. The pollen apparently can be made into an extract to help allergy sufferers.

Leech Purveyor – Raise medicinal leeches and distribute them out to medical facilities. The leeches do the job of taking excess blood from post-surgical wounds.

Duck Master – Leads ducks in a parade into and out of hotel lobby ponds. The Head Quack, you could say.

Flatulence Smell Reduction Underwear Maker – Design special underwear to guard against the smell of people with gastrointestinal, er, problems.

Mermaid – Requires a year of on-the-job training to swim, lip synch, and flipper around a giant aquarium entertaining audiences with underwater musicals. Must have to be able to hold their breath for two and a half minutes while changing costumes.

Still think your job is so bad, now?