i broke, man. i literally felt something in me die. this was 5 years ago, and only in the last 8, 9 months have i felt better about it.
i walked into my apartment, and her and her ex-husband were in my bed. which was a huge "fuck you!!" to me, cause they both had their own places. so, i walk in, see them, grab him by the throat (i know, i know) and drag him outside and throw him into the parking lot. im a big dude, im 6'8", 220. so i throw him into the parking lot, and shes yelling at me "PLEASE DONT KILL HIM" ... wtf. i just wanted him out of my house. i wasnt going to hurt or kill the guy.
shes running around, picking up her things, and his things, and shouting excuses at me. "oh, it was just a one time thing" ... "we were bored and it was a mistake" ... "we were drinking this morning and this was stupid" (who fucking drinks in the morning, anyway?)
i just looked at her and said "dont ever speak to me again. you fucking disgust me."
then.... i fell onto my couch and cried. she was standing there, watching me, and she tried to walk over and hug me, because now shes crying too. i pushed her away from me. i cried non stop for the rest of the day. fell into a deep, deep, depression, started doing painkillers, drinking, pretty much every drug i could get my hands on. i hurt so bad, mentally, that it was physically crippling.
the hardest part wasnt even breaking up with her, it was not talking to her daughter, who was going to be my step daughter. i was even saving to buy the ring. me and her were buds, man. we went everywhere together, i took her to preschool, we'd go to the mall every friday and get ice cream, id buy her some toys, or some clothes, whatever struck my eye.
ive since moved to a different state. got a good job, got my life back together. have an AMAZING girlfriend. she looks at me with love, and i look at her, and i see hope in her eyes. it took YEARS, but things finally actually turned around.
tl;dr: I POURED MY FUCKING HEART OUT TO YOU, REDDIT, READ THE POST. <3
Edit: thank you all. For not only the gold, but for the sympathy and kind words. I love all of you. And to anybody going through a similar situation, keep your head up. It gets better. <3
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