Saturday, June 23, 2012

rectalgia comments on I asked my dad how to stop cyber-bullying. He slammed my laptop shut. "There. Fuckin' magic". What is the harshest advice you have gotten?

rectalgia comments on I asked my dad how to stop cyber-bullying. He slammed my laptop shut. "There. Fuckin' magic". What is the harshest advice you have gotten?:

That. Was. Awesome.

Here's the comment I'm talking about:
"Here's what happens.
You get married. Everything is fine for a year or two. Sex quite frequently. You get nice and comfortable. Not having to be out trying to find someone. Just you and your wife, relaxing at home or going out for a quiet night on the town.
Eventually, you'll start shitting with the door open. She'll do your laundry, ignore the skidmarks in your underwear. She'll discuss her various feminine issues with you - including how heavy her period is at the moment.
You'll eventually grow so comfortable with each other that the relationship becomes boring. Sex will be infrequent and involve less enthusiasm. Some nights, you'll fuck her and you'll just know she's just doing it so you will go to sleep and stop bothering her.
You will fantasize about other women at this point. Frequently. Some men even start cheating at this stage. But most turn to masturbating in the shower before work or at night while looking at internet porn while she's sleeping.
She'll eventually want kids. Most often, you'll give in to her demands for procreation; you've grown so comfortable in your relationship you don't want to risk denying her motherhood. Hell, you might have even gotten fat or bald at this point and know you wouldn't find anyone else.
Your meager sex life will take on a mechanical, automatic tone. Sure, you'll have an orgasm, but every time you'll just wonder if this load knocked her up or not. You'll lie awake at night, wondering if you really even want to be a father. You'll think about your shitty childhood and how your parents fucked up.
Your wife will treat sex like you dropping off a letter at the post office. She's just hoping this one is good news. She'll run through her head the minimum number times she might have to go to the mail box to get that letter.
Then, she's pregnant. Your whole life is now changed for good. For the next 9 months, your wife will turn into a different person. She'll be moody, she'll cry for no reason. She'll have constant back pain, heartburn, and nausea. She'll hate you quite frequently and make irrational demands.
Then out pops the kid. Your wife changes again. Her breasts aren't your playthings anymore - they are food bags for the kid. Sex is out of the question, especially if your kid ripped her open and she needed stitches. For the next 5-6 mos, your wife is going to be so tired that you won't even have to worry about sex anyway. And you may find that, after seeing your child pop out of your wife's body, you aren't as attracted to her any more.
Your wife is now a mom. She'll probably go through a phase of depression, realizing that being a mom isn't as glamorous or as easy as she thought. The soul-crushing responsibility of having a helpless, crying, shitting being constantly dependent on you will dawn on her. This depression, this sadness will never completely go away.
If you're lucky, the kid will stick around until he/she is 18. Move off to college or on his/her own. Now you're both old. You need prescription pills to get it up. She's going through menopause. And you just work to pay for your kid's tuition, to save for retirement.
Then you retire together. Things might be fine for a couple years. Your back will hurt. You'll worry about things like fiber and social security. The kid(s) might visit occasionally. You will probably die of a heart attack a few years later. Your wife will outlive you."

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