Sunday, March 23, 2014

Legendary Property/Proc Mechanics Collection - Forums - Diablo III

Legendary Property/Proc Mechanics Collection



Figured I'd start a thread dedicated to these so we can get it all in one place. A lot of this stuff has already been hashed out, but much of it is spread out across multiple threads and various pages of the already very dense mechanics thread.

I've tested a lot of this stuff on my own and am pretty sure of its veracity, other stuff I gleaned from forum research and may or may not be accurate. A few entries are present but I don't have any hard data on them yet. Please do contribute any observations you've made or knowledge you may have, even if it's just confirming/busting my own findings.

Some of the entries here refer to core skill mechanics and proc coefficients. Certain entries use the term "scalar" instead of "coefficient;" the terms are interchangeable. More in-depth information and hard numbers on these can be found in apo's stickied mechanics guide -

Core stuff that applies to most item properties and procs unless their entry specifically states otherwise -
  • Damage-dealing procs benefit from damage buffs (e.g. Magic Weapon, Sparkflint, Archon etc.), scale properly with crit and %element damage, and have a proc scalar of 0.
  • Internal cooldowns ignore CDR, e.g. Pox Faulds will always have a cooldown of 15 seconds.
  • With the exception of Paralysis, elemental passives/buffs interact with damage-dealing on-hits where appropriate. Paralysis does not work with on-hits unless the entry specifically says otherwise.
  • Proc buffs are additive with similar skills or passives, e.g. Harrington Waistguard's damage bonus is additive with Glass Cannon/Magic Weapon/Archon/Cold-Blooded/etc.
  • Certain legendaries have common blue-text affixes that don't normally appear on items of their base type or are in much larger increments than usual, e.g. Azurewrath and Burning Axe of Skankiness have +%element damage even though this affix normally only appears on bracers and amulets, Eye of Etlich and String of Ears have ranged/melee damage reduction in much larger amounts than normal. Aside from appearing in out of the ordinary places or in larger than normal amounts, these affixes function exactly as outlined in the mechanics guide.
  • CC effects are subject to normal elite resistance rules

Not being able to use the AH to quickly grab cheap items for testing purposes makes this much more of an undertaking, anybody who has orange-text gear and is willing to test it out please do so. FOR SCIENCE.

... It wouldn't actually be for science. Please pretend that it is for science.

List of incomplete entries: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/12187048616?page=2#21

Some questions to think about when testing:

- Does the effect it produces (or its chance of occuring) appear to be modified by proc scalar in some way? Does it have a proc scalar (i.e. does it trigger things like LoH or APoC) of its own?
- Does it deal the expected amount of damage? If no, is it higher or lower?
- If the effect is an AoE: where does it originate from? If the tooltip does not specify how big the AoE is, roughly how big is the AoE? Use this to make size estimates: http://i.imgur.com/9A0mWVT.jpg
- How does the effect interact with offensive/defensive buffs and, if applicable, element-specific passives and affixes?
- How frequently does the effect occur/Does it appear to have an internal cooldown?
- Is there a buff bar icon?
- If it's an orange-text property that alters active skills (e.g. Light of Grace), does it appear to alter the skill's behavior in some way that isn't made obvious by the tooltip, such as lowering/raising the proc coefficient or increasing/reducing AoE?


This is far from exhaustive but should give an idea of what to look for/how to think while testing items. Contributions will be specifically credited in pertinent item entries with a note about what was contributed and a funny joke. The joke will not actually be funny and it'll be best for all of us if you just pretend it isn't there.

Index - For those unfamiliar with this method of organization, hit ctrl+f and type in the search code that corresponds to the section you want.
  • Sets - GreenProps
  • Amulets - AmProps
  • Rings - RingProps
  • 1h Weapons - 1hProps
  • Off-hands - OHProps
  • 2h Weapons - 2hProps
  • Hats - HatProps
  • Shoulders - ShoProps
  • Torsos - ChestProps
  • Bracers - BrProps
  • Gloves - GloProps
  • Belts - BeltProps
  • Pants - PantProps
  • Boots - BootProps


---------------
Sets [GreenProps]
---------------

Tal Rasha's Elements -
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/tal-rashas-guise-of-wisdom
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/tal-rashas-brace
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/tal-rashas-allegiance
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/tal-rashas-relentless-pursuit
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/tal-rashas-unwavering-glare

Not affected by proc scalar; dealing damage of the appropriate type will fire the corresponding meteor every time so long as it is not on cooldown. Elemental damage on equipment (i.e weapon element or legacy "adds % as element" affixes) does not proc the meteors unless you are using basic attack. The meteors can be triggered by any damage source including damage-dealing item procs (e.g. Fulminator or Firewalkers) and attacks with 0 proc scalar (e.g. Shocking Aspect or Magic Weapon: Ignite), provided the damage originated directly from you; Mirror Images, monsters summoned by items (like the Maximus Demon or Genzaniku) Hydras, Followers, etc. cannot proc the meteors. Familiar does work as the game does not consider it a "minion;" its damage is applied as if you had attacked directly.

The meteors correspond with the following runes for the "real" skill and have the appropriate properties and weapon damage numbers to match, including proc coefficients -

Fire = Meteor Shower
Cold = Comet
Lightning = Lightning Bind
Arcane = Star Pact

The meteors can proc any effects that a "real" meteor can proc. They cost 0 AP and do not interact with legacy integer cost reduction (i.e. wearing a legacy meteor SoJ/Source wouldn't cause you to gain AP by proccing these). In all other ways they behave exactly as "real" meteors and benefit from all the passives and gear affixes meteor normally benefits from, including things like Arcane Dynamo and +%Meteor damage.

Fun note: Lightning Bind can proc itself if it crits and something is standing in the DoT right as it wears off.

Chantodo's Resolve -
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/chantodos-will
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/chantodos-force

Works only with limited-duration shields (i.e. Barrier Blades, Delfection, Dominance), only provides a heal if the shield runs its full duration. Heal amount is based on the remaining shield value. *thanks to Mystikal for saving me from wild bears that were holding me hostage in exchange for information on Chantodo's

Blackthorne's Battlegear -
https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/blackthornes-duncraig-cross
https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/blackthornes-jousting-mail
https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/blackthornes-notched-belt
https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/blackthornes-spurs
https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/blackthornes-surcoat

Most of the stuff I've read about this set says that it does exactly what it says it does without any weirdness. Molten, plagued and desecrator normally proc Reactive Armor, does anybody know if they still do so while using this set? Does this set provide immunity to the death grenade left behind by Molten enemies?

-----------------
Amulets [AmProps]
-----------------

Haunt of Vaxo - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/haunt-of-vaxo

Can be procced by Paralysis, Calamity, or Point of No Return, and Mocking Demise. Shadow Clones deal 100% of your base spell damage but do not appear to crit for more than +50%. The effect does not have a proc chance; as long as the internal cooldown isn't up, stunning something will always summon the clones.

They cast the following spells, regardless of what is in your hotbar -

Spectral Blades - Thrown Blades
Spectral Blades - Flame Blades
Shock Pulse - Piercing Orb
Energy Twister - Wicked Wind
Slow Time - Time and Space
Arcane Orb - Obliteration,
Frost Nova - rune unknown? (probably either Cold Snap or no rune)
Wave of Force - Static Pulse

*thanks to tictactucrac for the list of Shadow Clone spells. From this day forward I will refuse to refer to him or this item by any name other than "Mister Vaxobeat" in settings outside this thread.

Moonlight Ward - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/moonlight-ward

The first orb will explode the moment something comes in range, or instantly if a target is in range when the effect is procced. The remaining three orbs detonate at a rate of 1/second. Triggering the proc again will refresh the orb count to 4 and reset the detonation timer, causing an orb to explode if there is a target within range. Explosions are centered on the point the orb impacted the target at, e.g. if an orb detonated by touching left half of a zombie the explosion will originate from roughly the same area. Is nearly identical to Arcane Orbit, but does not appear to have its damage increased by +%Arcane Orb affixes.

MLW's proc chance is 1:1 with the proc scalar of the attack used, e.g. Magic Missile would have a 100% chance to proc, Spectral Blades a 31% chance per blade hit, etc.

Absorb amulets -
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/maras-kaleidoscope
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/talisman-of-aranoch
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/countess-julias-cameo
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/the-star-of-azkaranth
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/xephirian-amulet

These all get one section since the affix seems to work in the same manner across all cases. The affixes do exactly what they say they do. Damage absorbed is determined after mitigation, e.g. lower mitigation vs element = larger absorption. Not sure if things like Reactive Armor can still be triggered by relevant effects if you are wearing one of these amulets.

-----------------
Rings [RingProps]
-----------------

Wyrdward - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/wyrdward

Stacks multiplicatively with Paralysis, appears to be affected by proc scalar. The game rolls for a proc from Paralysis first. If Paralysis is not triggered, it then looks for stun chance on equipment from things like Wyrdward. Does not interact with Lightning Hydra or similar 0 scalar skills that Paralysis does work with. As far as I can tell the only difference between Wyrdward and the blue-text stun chance that can appear as a random roll on certain items is that Wyrdward's stun chance is considerably higher but only works with lightning damage.

Rogar's Huge Stone - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/rogars-huge-stone

Bonus life regen ramp correlates directly with missing life, e.g. a Huge Stone with a 100% roll will increase life regen by 1% for each 1% of health that is missing.
-----------------
1h weapons [1hProps]
-----------------

Wizardspike - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/wizardspike

Is exactly like Frozen Orb, both mechanically and in terms of damage numbers. Does not appear to have an internal cooldown. Occasionally fires multiple times on one casting. Damage is increased by %Arcane Orb bonuses. Chance to cast does not appear to be affected by proc scalar. Interacts with Arcane Dynamo and, as with any other cold damage source, applies Cold-Blooded.

Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker -http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/thunderfury-blessed-blade-of-the-windseeker

[Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]'s proc has a 60% base chance that is affected by proc coefficient. [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker] also has an internal cooldown that scales with attack speed that prevents the item from proccing more than once per second. Does not proc Paralysis.

Fulminator - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/fulminator

Does not proc Paralysis. Affected by proc scalar. Base chance does not appear to be 100% but the effect occurs very often. Much like Magic Weapon: Electrify, it does not damage the target that it is procced on, i.e. the proc does nothing to enemies that are by themselves. Has no internal cooldown but also does not seem to stack multiple times on the same target; additional procs appear to refresh the duration. *thanks ChangBooster for reminding me that I have the memory *and* attention span of a dog, and also for the note on proc scalar*

Rimeheart - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/rimeheart

Affected by proc scalar. Shatter chance appears to be drastically reduced or perhaps non-existent against non-white enemies.

Serpent's Sparker - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/serpents-sparker

Does exactly what it says on the tin. The extra Hydra behaves exactly as the first does. If combined with The Magistrate, both Frost Hydras will cast Frost Nova.

Wand of Woh - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/wand-of-woh

Additional Explosive Blasts match the rune you're using, e.g. casting Chain Reaction with Woh will create 3 additional Chain Reactions. Extra blasts begin after the first and are generated at a rate that scales with attack speed.

Burning Axe of Skankiness - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/the-burning-axe-of-sankis

Reduces damage taken by 50% for 5 seconds, as per the unruned version of the Barbarian's Ignore Pain skill. Proc chance seems to be around 15%~. Appears to have an internal cooldown, not sure how long of one though.

I don't care what it says on the website or in game, that is not a typo.

Hack - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/hack

Works as described, scales with proc coefficients, really does apply every attack. Doesn't seem to crit or benefit from +%element damage affixes. Will deal Thorns*0.284*(Int/100)*(ProcCoef) in damage. *entry written by BDF as a public service to violent rosebush cosplayers everywhere.

Odyn Son - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/odyn-son

No internal cooldown. Base chance is further modified by proc scalar. Like Fulminator, this effect does not damage the target it is procced on, i.e. it doesn't do anything against a lone enemy. Bounces to 3 targets. Deals approximately 150%~ weapon damage. Damage is not increased by %electrocute affixes.

-----------------
Sources/Shields [OHProps]
-----------------

Myken's Ball of Hate - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/mykens-ball-of-hate

Needs at least two targets for this bonus to two anything; Electrocute will not repeatedly chain on a lone enemy. Per Electrocute's mechanics, additional bounces deal successively less damage. Bonus bounces from Velvet Camaral will interact with this item's passive. [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker] and Odyn Son's procs don't benefit from this item.

Mirrorball - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/mirrorball

Bonus missiles are the same as whatever MM rune you're using, e.g. you will receive 1-2 extra Glacial Spikes if you're using Glacial Spike. Bonus missiles each proc effects with the appropriate numbers, e.g. if you are using Seeker with a +2 Mirrorball you'll get two additional Seekers that each have a coefficient of 1.0.

Light of Grace - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/light-of-grace

Targets must be hit directly by the beam to take damage - unlike Disintegrate, which damages targets once they within a few yards of the beam - but, oddly, the tip of the beam retains its 5 yard AoE. RoF's proc scalar remains the same. This item (obviously) has no effect on Sleet Storm.

Winter Flurry - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/winter-flurry

I'm assuming this does what it says on the tin without any wacky behavior but I haven't been able to find one for testing. Anyone with a Flurry able to add anything on this?

The Oculus - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/the-oculus

No strange behavior, does what it says.

-----------------
2h weapons [2hProps]
-----------------

Smoldering Core - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/the-smoldering-core

Was a little confused about this item and initially thought it pulled enemies over after the meteor landed. What it actually does is add a taunt effect to ring that appears before the meteor lands. It appears to stretch 10 yards outside of the ring, perhaps a bit farther, and will cause any white enemies that come within range to run as close to impact center as they can get.

Valthek's Rebuke - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/valtheks-rebuke

Exactly what it says on the tin. Wicked Wind is unaffected. Also seems to increase Twister's speed slightly.

-----------------
Hats [HatProps]
-----------------

The Magistrate - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/the-magistrate

Frost Novas are cast at 4~ second intervals.

Dark Mage's Shade - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/dark-mages-shade

Diamond Skin is cast at your level and is unruned regardless of whether a runed version is on your hotbar.

Stormcrow - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/storm-crow

Applies Conflagration. Like Wizardspike, appears to be unaffected by proc scalar. Does not interact with Arcane Dynamo. The ball now scales on weapon damage and does somewhere in the range of 350%~ weapon damage. Will reasearch more soon and give more precise numbers.

Velvet Camaral - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/velvet-camaral

Per Electrocute's core mechanics, each additional bounce deals less damage than the last. Proc scalar and additional effects such as Surge of Power's +1 AP per target are not reduced. Additional bounces interact with Ball of Hate's bonus.

Archmage's Vicalyke - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/archmages-vicalyke

Per the description, the effect only triggers if your images are killed by enemies before their duration expires. When the effect triggers, it creates two additional images where the original image died. Bonus images are of the same rune type, e.g. you will get bonus Mocking Demise images if you're using Mocking Demise. This effect can chain multiple times, Xzibit style, e.g. you cast images, both are killed and trigger this effect, giving you four images which are all also able to spawn a set of two images when they die. This affix does nothing if you're using Duplicates. Need to test the proc chance more, based on what I've seen so far I'd estimate that it is around 10-15%~ *thanks to zCaptainZero and InnerTurmoil for testing-related advice. Somewhere in an alternate reality of extremely unlikely events, their Mirror Images began to infinitely trigger this effect until they became self-aware, invaded the internet, and subjugated humanity. Fortuntately the Images still only had a 7-second duration so the whole thing was over pretty quickly.

Andariel's Visage - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/andariels-visage

Doesn't have any interactions with Wizard skills or passives. Proc chance is 1:1 with whatever skill you use it with. Based on my super-scientific measurement method of putting my fingers on the screen where it procced and then comparing to other effects, I'd say the Nova travels about 10~ yards (it covers almost the exact same amount of area as a Meteor impact) but probably only damages things that are within 6~ yards. About the same as MLW range, so basically point-blank.

------------------
Shoulders [ShoProps]
------------------

Death Watch Mantle - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/death-watch-mantle

*Has a short internal cooldown of about 1-2~ seconds. Standing in ground poop (e.g. molten, plagued, desecrator, etc.) or similar DoT effects doesn't proc it. Damage is increased by +%physical damage affixes. Looks exactly like the DH Fan of Knives skill but does not behave as Fan of Knives, e.g. %Fan bonuses don't work on it (even if you're a DH), it has no proc scalar, and it doesn't seem to apply a snare.

*not 100% sure about the internal cooldown, will test more

------------------
Torsos [ChestProps]
-----------------

Cindercoat - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/cindercoat

Applied in exactly the same manner as normal cost reduction. Is multiplicative with other sources of cost reduction. Legacy integer reduction is applied before this bonus.

Example: Meteor with Cindercoat, 10% cost reduction from PPs, and flat -5 meteor cost from legacy SoJ would be (40 - 5) * 0.7 * 0.9 = 22.05 AP per cast. *thanks to Aphraell for beginning my descent into madness.

-----------------
Bracers [BrProps]
-----------------

Custerian Wristguards - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/custerian-wristguards

Gold -> XP bonus appears unaffected by all increased experience bonuses other than the +25% from Pools. Possible bug? *thanks to ChangBooster for discovering this, which serves as yet another reason that D3 = unrealistic, as everyone knows picking up gold is numero uno way to level up IRL

Ancient Parthan Defenders - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/ancient-parthan-defenders

Damage reduction does not diminish with number of targets hit, e.g. Parthans with a 10% roll will give 10% DR for hitting 1 target, 50% DR for hitting 5 targets, and 100%(!) for hitting 10. Damage reduction is multiplicative with other sources and is applied after all other forms of damage reduction. *thanks to Pwn for confirming that the DR bonus is, in fact, craaaaaaaay.

Strongarm Bracers - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/strongarm-bracers

Works with both Impactful Wave and Force Weapon. Mirror Images with Impactful Wave do not apply the debuff, i.e. knockbacks must originate from you to apply the effect. *May be multiplicative with other damage bonuses.

*Pending further testing.

Nemesis Bracers - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/nemesis-bracers

Works exactly as it says it does. Summoned monsters do not always correspond with the area, or even the act, you are in.

-----------------
Gloves [GloProps]
-----------------

Frostburn - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/frostburn

Like Wyrdward, is affected by proc scalar. Freeze chance stacks multiplicatively with chance to freeze from skills, e.g. skill freeze chance is checked, then Frostburn freeze chance is checked. Not sure how it interacts with the non-orange freeze chance from rares or Azurewrath.

St. Archew's Gage - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/st-archews-gage

Does not interact with the set bonus from Chantodo's set. Works like a normal absorb shield in all other respects. *thanks to Mystikal for busting Chantodo's interaction. *Not* thanks for causing a hurricane in my closet via the butterfly effect, which he also did. Uncool.

Gladiator Gauntlets - https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/gladiator-gauntlets

Drops around 4-6 gold piles. The amount and total value of the piles appears to be the same regardless of massacre size, e.g. a 10-kill massacre will result in just as much bonus gold as a 200-kill massacre. Gold value seems to be increased by %gold find from equipment and difficulty setting.

-----------------
Belts [BeltProps]
-----------------

Harrington Waistguard - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/harrington-waistguard

Damage bonus is additive with MW/Sparkflint/Cold-Blooded/etc., per the damage buffs section of the mechanics guide. Aside from treasure chests, the buff can also be applied by looting corpses, floor tiles, bookshelves, and other similar clickables.

Goldwrap - https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/goldwrap

Haven't actually found this item, nor have I really seen anyone talking much about it, so I'm not sure how the armor bonus is applied or what its exact mechanics are. I'd assume it would be additive with Energy Armor, Archon, or IA:Crystallize. If anyone has this and can test it that'd be great.

Thundergod's Vigor - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/thundergods-vigor

Like Death Watch Mantle, ground poops and similar effects don't proc it. No internal cooldown. Does not interact with Paralysis.

-----------------
Pants [PantProps]
-----------------

Pox Faulds - http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/pox-faulds

The cloud stays in the location it is procced at. Has an internal cooldown that is displayed on the buff bar. Doesn't appear to have any special interactions with non-damage buff skills or passives.

Hexing Pants of Mr Yan - https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/hexing-pants-of-mr-yan

For Wizards, these probably only work on secondary animation attacks like Explosive Blast or Arcane Orbit. Might work with Storm Armor and damage-dealing Ice Armor runes, as well. If anyone has a pair of these and has tested them out, please do share any observations.

-----------------
Boots [BootProps]
-----------------

Fire Walkers - https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/fire-walkers

Seems to tick at a rate of about once per second. The trail will linger for about a half second before dissipating. Enemies standing within about 5~ yards of you will be damaged by this effect, even though it does not seem to be touching them visibly. The fire trail also seems to damage enemies slightly before they come into direct physical contact with it. Has proper interaction with all fire-related passive and active buffs/debuffs, e.g. Flame Blades, Gale Force, Conflagration.

Ice Climbers - https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/ice-climbers

Cold damage reduction is multiplicative with all other forms of damage reduction, including Blur. Orange text does exactly what it says on the tin. Jailer effect still deals damage but won't immobilize you. Similarly, Frozen explosions still deal damage but no longer freeze. Doesn't do anything against chill/snare/stun, as far as I know. Haven't seen these in action since PTR, anyone care to confirm they still work this way?

Irontoe Mudsputters - https://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/irontoe-mudsputters

Bonus movespeed ramps in the same manner as Rogar's Huge Stone, e.g. at 3/4 life you gain 6.25% MS, at 1/2 you gain 12.5% MS, at 1/4 18.75%. The full bonus is applied at 1% health instead of 0% for reasons that should be obvious.

____________________________________________________________

Thanks to Jaetch, EmperorMao, apo, Boozor, Melkor, tictactucrac, pwn, couchy, Lightbringer, Zoidburg, BDF, Aphraell, Aimless, Madholm, PieHole, ChangBooster, dolynick, TekkZero for observations made about a lot of the stuff here. Can't remember who did what, specifically, anymore, since I took things from all over the forums and have the memory of a dog.
Edited by Kanjihack#1673 on 3/23/2014 9:34 PM PDT

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Systems Past: the only 8 software innovations we actually use - Technical Journal

Systems Past: the only 8 software innovations we actually use - Technical Journal:



'via Blog this'

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

thepoopscoop comments on What's something about your boyfriend/girlfriend that you didn't know until waaaay too late in the relationship?

Old man here. Married four decades.
Look, it doesn't matter what you find out about them now. The question is what are you going to find out about them after 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years?
People change. They change a lot. Boy Scout this year. Ten years from now? You find out he is secretly doing hard narcotics and has been for a couple of years. She's shy and doesn't talk much? Raising teenage boys will change that for sure. She'll be a loud mouth harpy and dressing you down loudly by association. Sexually driven almost to obsession? How about zero libido in the same person ten years later. Or how about libido that suddenly manifests in a prude who suddenly can't stop fucking everything shaped like a cucumber.
Kids (shaking head), you have no idea what it means to be in a long term relationship. You think it is about getting to know each other and then you cruise through.
That is wrong!
You think you are cruising, and while you are busy taking them for granted, then turn around and BANG! Some ridiculous new hobby, a new look... now fat, now skinny, now muscles, now fat again, and now back to muscles, oops cancer, and affair, more cancer, how can you have an affair during chemo?... it does not stop.
Marriage and long term relationships are not for cowards or the weak of will. You don't stay together because of love (romance fades into family familiarity and competition for control of children's future) or trust (you cannot trust humans - they are unpredictable even to themselves). You stay together only out of sheer willpower, and because you have a sense of humor about what the person might be up to next, and you want to see it and help them through it.
The first decade of a relationship is like some kind of a joke. People get divorced during that time. Good. They needed to. Because after 4 decades, those pussies would be taking their own lives or end up in 12 step rehab centers.
Oh, that happens too. You'll see.
Wait until their parents die. And then yours die. And then your brother sues you to get all of the inheritance, but won't clean out the basement of their house filled with shit. Then you find out he has a grow lab on a farm, and DEA is investigating him. Oh wait, your brother was shot to death. Now you need knee replacement. What do you mean you slept with my brother? Why the hell are you telling me this now after 30 years? Good god, woman it doesn't matter now.
Walking down the aisle tomorrow? GRAB THE "OH SHIT" HANDLES NOW.
In 40 years, you will be able to look a Marine Drill Instructor in the eyes and say, "Out of my way, kid. I have seen shit you would not believe."

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Creepybusguy comments on Ranger with 25k miles on it.

Oil is incredibly important to your engine. (And the whole vehicle in other spots but I'm not going to get into it.) It is pumped via specially bored holes and channels through out the whole engine area.
  1. It cleans the gunk and crap away that are by products of combustion and wear. So Carbon bits from combustion and microscopic bits of metal from when your bearing wears and your piston rings slide up and down your cylinder liner. Every oil has soaps and surfactants in it for this purpose. So those guys who filter their oil multiple times are doing themselves a disservice. Even the really big marine diesels that have oil sumps in measured in cubic meters of oil get their oil changed despite extensive filtering. (You should see THAT oil change bill.)
  2. It prevents wear of your bearings and bushings. Your crankshaft has to turn but it turns at a very very high speed. So oil under pressure is forced like this[1]   to the bearings. This pressure actually lifts the crankshaft just a little bit off the bearings and makes a cushion of oil. The bearings I'm talking about look like this[2]   notice the oil groove in it. Well, there's a hole drilled in your crankshaft (Technically a bunch of them) that also has the oil forced into it via this channel (All while the hydrostatic lift is happening hence the pressure needed) this oil is then forced through to bearings on the piston rod number2021 in this picture[3]   it then travels up to the top of the piston rod lubricates the top end bush. (#16). Again hydrostatic lift like what's happening on your crankshaft is happening there too! There's also camshaft bushings, rocker arm bushings that need to be lubricated in this way as well. So what happens with out the lube? Hydrostatic lift doesn't happen and the metal come into contact and thing go crunch (Which is why it's good to let your car idle for a minute or so before hitting the gas. It makes sure you have lube to everything) and get hot really quickly.
  3. Which brings me to cooling. People often forget oil cools your engine as well. All that spinning metal makes heat. Even if the metal bits aren't touching. If you take a stir stick and swirl water round with it it will eventually heat up. Friction happens in liquids too. So the oil takes away the heat from the bearings. It also is forced up through the piston rod and comes out of the #17 position of the previous picture and sprays under the piston. This is from a marine diesel but you get the idea[4]   This removes heat and gives you a better combustion. Too hot and you get weird by-products and you burn out your valves faster. Too low and you get carbon build-up (Why your oil turns black) and power loss and lots of other problems. Oil also cools your turbo bearings. This thing spins at over 20,000rpm (I'm marine diesels and mine weigh a literal ton and spin at that so cars probably go faster) it also takes some time to slow down so let your car idle for about a minute after you stop driving to let it cool off or you'll cook your bearings there and thrash your fancy turbo.
The oil also sprays on the sides of your cylinder liner to cool it and lubricate it as well. You piston rings are specially designed for oil to go behind them and force them out to seal the piston against the side of the liner.
All this oil then dumps down into the bottom of the crankcase where it's cooled by either being pumped to a specific cooler or just by the air movement from driving along. I'm not an automotive guy so I'm kind of hazy on that. My oil is pumped through huge plate coolers before being returned to a special tank and then back to the engine.
There's far, far, far more to oil than that. But it's the basics. I've got a 400 page text book at home that deals with oils and everything about them. So this is the coles notes.
[Here's a picture of some bearing shells you can see the channels cut in them)(http://www.stationaryengineparts.com/images/P/CS_bearingshells-01.jpg[6]  )

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

20140310 comments on Reduce the Workweek to 30 Hours- NYT

I work as a programmer and in my jurisdiction people in the IT industry are exempt from overtime laws. Even if there are no pressing deadlines (and there usually are since unrealistic time frames are seen as a motivator) working a standard 40 hour week is like wearing the minimum amount of flair[1] at Chotski's. If you don't stay a little later or work the occasional evening or weekend from home then you must not be a Real Programmer.
What is a Real Programmer, you might ask? A Real Programmer is someone who loves programming! They love it so much that it's what they spend all their time doing. In fact, a Real Programmer loves programming so much that they're happy just to have the chance to do it. Paying them is just a formality because the Real Programmer doesn't really consider it "work". You know a programmer isn't a Real Programmer when they don't volunteer to work 60 to 80 hour weeks (for no extra monetary compensation, remember) because it's "fun". All they really need in thanks is a company t-shirt and the occasional slice of pizza on those late nights.
And you know what? Those Real Programmers exist. They work ridiculous hours, don't expect to get paid for doing the work of two or three people, and they absolutely love it. They'll have conversations with managers about how lazy people who leave the office at 5pm are and how they just can't understand that mindset.
Then there are the people who try to be Real Programmers because that's what's expected. It permeates the industry's culture. You hear it from fellow programmers, managers, and investors. If you want to succeed as a programmer you have to at least look like a Real Programmer even if you're not one at heart. So you get people working evenings and weekends just for appearances and they start to burnout. Their code quality suffers and the code base becomes buggy and difficult to maintain. Longer hours are needed just to get the same amount of work done and it becomes a feedback loop of bad code, longer hours to fix the bad code, and burnout which makes things even worse.
Personally I'd love to work a 40 hour week without it hurting my career and professional reputation. Programming is fun, sure, but I want to have a life outside of it. I want to get out of the office at a reasonable hour and stop thinking about work until the next day. I want some time to cook healthy meals, exercise, see my friends, go on dates, write a book, learn a new (human) language, etc. In short, I want the freedom to live my life. I don't want to work merely for the chance to survive to keep working until 40 years from now when I can maybe stop and think about doing something I really love in the few years I have left.
On the one hand I must sound pretty lazy. There are people happy to work 80 hour weeks for 40 hours of pay. Why should they not be allowed to do that just because that's not what I want to do? What about freedom of choice? On the other hand, why should there be a culture of exploitation in this industry just because of the few individuals who, frankly, don't seem to realize or care that they're dedicating their lives to making someone else rich while seeing relatively little of that money themselves?
I know I'm not the only one[2] who feels this way. And this kind of thing has caused problems[3] before. I just really wish we lived in a society where we didn't define ourselves so strongly by our day jobs and where working ourselves to death wasn't seen as a virtue.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

lesbowaway comments on A friend of mine used to date an abusive guy. It got me thinking - what are some signs/red flags that your man is physically/emotionally abusive or otherwise not a nice guy (ie is sexist, bigoted, a sociopath, etc) - sometimes when you are in that situation, its actually hard to realize it.

This is a really near and dear topic to my heart, so I apologize for the incoming encyclopedia.
Abusive people are fundamentally manipulative. Manipulative people aren't always abusive boyfriends, but they're pretty uniformly people you don't want in your life if you can avoid it. I wasn't always good at finding these kinds of people. My best friend growing up was extremely manipulative, I got out of that relationship, and then dated a guy who was a textbook manipulator. So I guess I want to share the kinds of things I learned that helped me spot these people, and nope the fuck out of relationships with people that look like this earlier and earlier, before they have a chance to wreak havoc on my life.
Notice when somebody is asking you something or telling you something that makes you feel bad or weird. Especially if you express your discomfort in some way and they act like you're weird for feeling that way. Like, for example, if someone starts asking you some very sexual questions, and you don't feel comfortable answering, and they make you feel like a prude instead of just apologizing or moving on. Or maybe they ask to meet your parents a month into a relationship and you notice that you feel like you're the weird one for thinking that it's too early. A lot of the time, you won't notice them literally telling you that you're the weird one. But if you notice times when you feel like they're acting weird, and then you feel that you're acting weird, make a mental note. See if there's some pattern to their behavior where they're doing something to make you feel this way.
When someone hurts your feelings, think about the motivations they could have to hurt your feelings. People make honest mistakes, but for a manipulative person, there's often no real kind justification for their behavior. They're grossly negligent of the feelings of others at the most charitable interpretation, but you don't notice until you're thinking about it after the fact, because they seem so kind and well-meaning. Especially if they're incongruous with why they SAY they did the thing that hurt your feelings. Like, it's normal for a friend to accidentally make a joke that crosses the line. "My feet are big." "No, MY feet are big. YOUR feet are HUGE." But if you're like "Whoah!" and seem hurt, a normal person will be like "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Your feet are a totally normal size especially considering you're like 3 inches taller than me." A defensive person might be like "Oh come on we joke about this kind of stuff all the time," but will stop making fun of your feet because they know that's a sore spot for you. A manipulative person will be like "It's not like it's a bad thing!" and start introducing you to people as "Hi this is my friend, Yourname. Her feet are huge!"
Beware somebody that's always second-guessing you. A normal person, when you're like "Hey can we get mexican tonight?" will either be like "Sure!" or "I don't really feel like Mexican. How about Chinese?" A manipulator will be like "Mexican, really?" or "Why Mexican?" and make you feel bad for suggesting it in the first place. This is especially bad if it's the other way around, where they're second-guessing your no. "Can we get mexican tonight?" "I'd kinda prefer to stay in," "Aw, why?" They want to have their way, but make you feel like you're being the demanding one.
A person who is honest and fucked up often will be caught off guard, or not know what to say. They'll be like "I don't know why I did that, that was really shitty." Or they'll be like "I'm so sorry". Or they might even get mad at you or defensive or try really hard to change the subject if they're immature. But a manipulative person will often have an explanation for their shitty behavior IMMEDIATELY. And they'll often deliver it as if it's no big deal. A more serious real life example, I had a boyfriend once who was having a really tough time studying for an exam, and he was like "I'm going to fail out of school, I should just kill myself." And I talked him off the cliff and helped him study, but afterwards, when he was more calm, I talked to him and I was like "Hey, we need to talk about this thing you said. I'm worried about you and need to know if you need someone to talk to." And he was like "Oh don't worry about that, I'm sorry. I was really stressed out and felt helpless and alone and wanted to write my paper on your computer, and I knew that suicide was a sensitive topic for you so I was stupid and I said that." Like that's terrible on two levels. That's literally admitting "I manipulated you into letting me use your computer, whoops!" but even beyond that, a conversation of "So you said you wanted to kill yourself" should be really intense and emotional. If someone has an immediate answer to that, no matter what that immediate answer is, be scared.
Look for quick changes of emotions. Normal people get more and more upset as a difficult conversation goes on, then calm down slowly. And they can go from sadness to anger back to sadness, but it's always got a bit of an element of both in there. If you see somebody angry then calm then sad then happy, it's a sign that they're affecting emotion.
And most importantly, watch for stories they tell with that sound kinda mean or self-centered, especially if told with pride. Any instance of "I said X, so the person would do Y for me" when X is anything other than "Can you please do Y for me?" is manipulative. A willingness to lie to ANYONE is a willingness to lie to you. And being PROUD of getting away with lying to somebody is scary as fuck.
A lot of these things are stuff you have to catch on your own, when the person isn't there. In your time to yourself thinking about stuff. If you call them on any of this stuff, they will have an answer, and you'll get all turned around. The thing that's most important is that you owe no one anything, besides treating them with kindness and respect. If you feel like somebody makes you feel bad a lot, or you feel like you're less of a good person around somebody than you are around other people, it doesn't matter if that person is a manipulative/abusive person or if they just keep messing up and accidentally hurting your feelings. It literally does not matter. You are allowed to cut them out of your life. Don't be mean or cruel to them. You don't need to give this huge "You're an evil manipulator" speech. Just don't hang out with them and don't feel bad about it. Save yourself the heartache.

Friday, March 7, 2014

IranianGenius comments on What are you favorite 'little things' in life?

  • Peeling the whole orange in one go.
  • Peeling the whole egg in one go.
  • Finishing composing a song (or finishing learning how to play a song).
  • Seeing "100%" written down on an assignment.
  • The boss saying "thank you."
  • The smile on my mom's face when she can tell I enjoyed her cooking.
  • Teaching children about basically anything.
  • Going up the down escalator.
  • Going down the up escalator.
  • Singing in the shower to an imaginary audience of thousands.
  • Shaving facial hair into different shapes and patterns before shaving the whole thing off.
  • Learning something new.
  • The crystalline nature of freshly fallen snow.
  • Hot chocolate on a cold winter day.
  • A fruit smoothie on a warm summer day.
  • Waking up and realizing you're not sick anymore.
  • The thought of the girl I'm into smiling because of me.
  • People who are willing to love and accept one another, in spite of their many differences.
  • A lone dandelion on a lawn of grass.
  • Smiles in general.
  • Hugs.
  • Giving a pedestrian at a crosswalk the right of way.
  • Someone helping me with groceries since I'm a dime short.
  • Helping someone with groceries who's a dime short.
  • The laughter of children.
  • When the chords in a song sound just right and resonate with my thoughts.
  • Sunrise.
  • Sunset.
  • Finding twenty bucks in your pocket.
  • Forgetting you left it there and finding it again that night.
  • Beating a personal high score at a video game.
  • Cleaning out papers after a semester of studying.
  • Finding an oddly shaped baby carrot.
  • Eating the airy puffballs that sometimes form on pizza.
  • Learning and performing a new taekwondo move (or dance move).
  • Beating my mile time.
  • Singing a song in public and having someone sing along with you.
  • The sound and feel of a perfect high five.
  • Cuddling.
  • Showing affection to someone who shows you hate.
  • When a girl is all dressed up for a formal night out.
  • When a girl has her hair up and is in sweats and doesn't care what she looks like.
  • Little boys in tuxedos.
  • Pets after you feed them.
  • The smell of rain.
  • The first minute in a hot shower.
  • When crises bring people together (ex: people hugging while crying).
  • When someone changes an opinion on a before strongly held belief
  • Closure
  • Finishing a great novel
  • Finishing a puzzle
  • The look on someone's face when he gets the punch line
  • Every time I see her name
  • Getting a new bench press record.
  • A girl complimenting anything about me.
  • Goosebumps as the breeze hits the back of my neck.
  • The first bite of a plump nectarine.
  • Seeing how many peas can fit stuck in my fork.
  • Taking my pants off after a long day.
  • When someone says "You made my day."
  • Complimenting someone.
  • The feeling of inertia as the plane descends.
  • Giving out halloween candy.
  • Getting a straight or a flush in poker.
  • Seeing an animal (even as simple as a deer or squirrel) in the wild.
  • Opening the door, the fly leaves, no flies enter.
  • The moment of meditation after I do something wrong.
  • Drawing a perfect circle with a compass.
  • Hitting green lights my whole way home.
  • Getting a call from a friend from long ago.
  • Writing handwritten letters, licking the envelopes, and mailing them.
  • When you climb to the top of the tree.
  • When you hike to the top of the hill.
  • When you wake up without hitting the snooze button.
  • The fog layering glasses when eating soup.
  • Seeing very old couples happy together.
  • Giving food to a patient at the hospital.
  • Giving a hug to someone who needs it.
  • When all of the popcorn pops.
  • When the sequel is somehow better than the original.
  • When there is someone to share the Kit Kat with.
  • The moment I slip on my lucky boxers.
  • The initial feeling of jumping into a puddle.
  • The sound of a leaf crackling while walking in the fall.
  • When she hits me up first.
  • The moment of silence after listening to a good song.
  • When I accomplish something someone told me I could never do.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

sultanahmet comments on What's the stupidest thing you thought was true as a kid?

I have a story somewhat related to your comment.
When I was 10, I had a dog named Doggy (I wasn't a creative kid). Doggy was a Great Dane, and a very emotional dog. He would get attached to anyone who showed him affection and was always happy, with that adorable wide smile that dogs have.
When he was still a puppy, we moved to the countryside which had a lot of open space behind our house. Although he wasn't an overly active dog, he would always just chill on the grass behind the house playing with one of the dozens of toys I bought for him.
One day after I came back from school, I went to see him and he was laying on the grass belly up laughing with his mouth and his eyes wide open with this small white kitten standing next to him and just staring at him. I can vividly remember that moment because of what happened next. The kitten started copying him. I could not stop laughing because it was like the kitten was making fun of him and as soon as Doggy realised what she was doing he just stood up and didn't look impressed.
I found out that this kitten belonged to our neighbours and for the next 5 years, until we had to move house again, they were completely inseparable. I'm not sure what breed the kitten was but while my Dane got absolutely huge, she only got as big as his legs so it was hilarious watching them together. Doggy would wake up in the morning and go out to the garden waiting for the kitten, and after a while she would come out and they would be with each other for the rest of the day. I started buying food for both my dog and the kitten, and would feed them together. They would chase each other around the trees, they would eat and drink together, and they even licked each other for some reason. They seemed so comfortable together and I was especially impressed with the cat, she was very brave hanging out with this huge dog 3 times her size.
This went on for about 5 years until my dad found a job in another city and we had to move. I could see Doggy knew that something was going to happen and got moody a few days prior to the moving date. He would be in the garden as soon as the sun came out and would stay there all day, even if some days the cat didn't leave the house, which happened during the last few days we were there. We didn't get along with our neighbours so I never went to their house to ask for the cat but before we left I knocked on the door so they could say goodbye to each other but no one answered.
I tried to tell my dad not to move but he thought I was crazy for not wanting to move to a better house and a bigger city just because a dog and cat spent some time with each other but I knew what they had was something deeper than that.
It was time to move and I literally had to drag Doggy to the car because he would try to run back to the garden. After a 3 hour car ride, we reached our new house and as soon as I let Doggy out he went to the garden of that house and just sat there as if he was waiting for her.
He would do this every morning, just sit in this garden waiting for the cat that never came. After about a month or so, I could sense that he was very distressed and eating about half of what he normally ate. He would refuse to play with me or let me walk him. He wouldn't interact with anyone, just sit in the garden silently staring into the distance.
One morning, I heard my mum calling me from the garden and I ran out to see that Doggy was laying down breathing heavily and not responding to us. We took him to the vet immediately where they told us that he had suffered a Myocardial Infarction, a heart attack, and it was likely he would never recover properly. He got well enough so we could take him back home and a few days later, he passed away peacefully in his sleep. I was the one who discovered his body and could not stop crying for hours after.
My mum bought a dog coffin that same day and since we still owned the house we moved from, I wanted him buried there because that's where the best memories of his life were. We cleaned him up, put him in the coffin and took him there. As my dad was digging a hole in the garden, the neighbour who owned the cat knocked on the door. What she said gave me goosebumps.
The cat had a disease which not only stunted her growth, but would likely be the cause of an early death. Just before the cat died, she was very sick but would still come out to play with Doggy. The reason Doggy was sad was because he somehow knew she didn't have long to live, and I discovered that the reason the cat didn't come out the few days before we moved was because she had already passed away.
The owner loved her cat as much as I loved Doggy, and had buried her right on the edge of her garden where the entrance to our house was. We buried Doggy next her.
This was probably the best friendship I will ever see in my life.
-thank you to whoever bought me the gold but you really shouldn't have, I'm not even a frequent user of this site. I'll try be here for at least another month now because of your gift.